I have a childhood friend whom I love dearly and who loves me back and the last time that we spoke (as well as many times prior), he commented "you are a real mother-for-ya, Qui." He has said it enough times in the wake of discussing social matters justices, injustices, relationships, and self-worth. My friend remarks such a statement most often when I don't support him when he's not supporting himself. He is usually full steam ahead on concocting ideas that I can tell from the onset of thought is not going to deliver him to a better position. The good news is, he catches on quickly and considers my POV instead of rebuffing it and driving off of a cliff.
"I hope that you take no offense when I call you a Mother-For-Ya, but you care about most people more than their own mothers."
I have always taken his comments to heart.... because he's right,
I care, I care, I genuinely care For You.
Yesterday was Mother’s Day and I am a mother. Funny thing, I never desired to be married or to be a mother. I just didn't see it in my future when I assessed my adolescent cards. I had my first child at 18 and while I only have two biological children, I care for humanity like I birthed most of you. It's not hard to do, I just seriously CARE FOR OTHERS in the same manner that I care for myself. So, if you tell me a personal story and I can foresee an unpleasant end to the story (remember, I am a storyteller), I will offer several other routes that could curb the troubles in a particular journey. What good is my skill capacity if I don't share it with those that I love?
Thing is, I love everyone. I wake up on love and fall asleep in it. I am in love with humanity and for the most part, humanity loves me back.
LOVE EXCEEDS ALL BARRIERS.
Racism is an ugly defect of humanity. I don't fruck with her. I call racism a "her" because it is breedable. I insist on abstinence. I do not and will not indulge nor entertain it.
So, twice last week I ran into two white men on two different days; Monday and Tuesday and the run-ins could have gone any kind of way. Who ever knows where the ugliness of racism will randomly show? I just wake up and pray up then out of the house I go.
Monday - I had an Annual Well-Woman exam, at the end of the examination my doctor excused the assisting nurse from the room and opened up a safe space of dialogue for me to voice my concerns about life.
I was confused. My gynecologist doesn't normally open the floor for abstract dialogue. It took me a minute to calibrate and get on the same page that he was on. My gynecologist said, (in short), "If you ever need anything if you feel anxious, in trouble, or bothered, you can call on us. We can do more than you think to help."
Staring me in the face, my doctor asked again, "Do you have anything that you'd like to talk about?" My mouth opened without me okaying it, and said, "Well, the news isn't helping!" My physician's face confirmed that I found the page that he was on, he is concerned about my BL (Black Life). Internally I was shocked at my verbal outburst. Who knew, I had something to say to him on this subject. The doc responded, "Yes. I know and I'm so sorry."
I felt vulnerable at that moment. I couldn't believe that the doc yanked a moment of reality out of my jovial, secure overlay. I care so much for humanity as a whole, yet I rarely consider myself needing care on the same level. So, when the doc asked about my physical and mental well-being in today’s societal dysfunction, I stood there like a deer in headlights for a few seconds before my confession about news topics spilled out.
The doc was very supportive, almost like a father figure; my doctor is an elderly white affluent male and we've always had a childlike relationship. Both of us love science! My annual check-ups are usually an intellectual gas! Monday was different and it resonated with me so strongly that once I was in the car, I made a 6-minute video that I shared with my family and close friends of myself testifying to feeling loved when I wasn't looking for it. My doc is awesome. It took me some time to convince myself that he is special and that's how he was able to communicate care for me, in such a subtle way and have the most impact on me.
But that was not true.
He is not alone in his actions...
Tuesday - rolled around and I decided to detail my car, so I pull into O'Reilly's Auto Parts to get an interior cleaning solution, a car fragrance clip, maybe some towels, etc. You know, things to help me achieve a spotless interior. When I pulled into the parking space a white car pulled up next to me. My guy (hubby) and I exited my car at the same time as the attractive White male in the white car beside me.
Jovial in spirit, we enter the store and stop on the first row, where the cleaning supplies are and the White guy from the white car stops on the same row, next to me and my guy. He briefly turns his head our way to make eye contact with us and says,
WHITE MAN: Whatever you need, I got you.
I didn’t respond at first, and then he said it again.
ME: Pardon me?
The patron repeated what he said and added to it,
WHITE MAN: Meet me outside by the white car.
WHAT HAPPENED NEXT...
I glanced over my shoulder looked at the car and then back to the gentleman and asked,
ME: What is your name sir?
WHITE MAN: Jeff.
I then did a corny introduction that my hubby and I do at parties,
ME: I’m Qui
HUBBY: I’m D
ME: And we are a rap group.
ME & HUBBY: Ooo-Rahh!
After saying the last line, we stand back-to-back, like two lame rappers. I then broke my pose and said,
ME: The only thing is Jeff, we’re not quite a rap group, because D can’t keep a beat, but we’re working on it.
Entertained and laughing he responded
JEFF: Hey D, don’t worry about it. There’s always auto-tune, it makes us all sound better.
Great start. To make a long story short, Jeff and I met outside he was driving the cleanest, baddest white AMG BMW with customized Bob Marley insignia quotes in plain hidden view. There were ONE LOVE quotes at the bottom of his black fog-light frame, a custom overlay ONE LOVE heart emblem on top of his BMW hood emblem. There were ONE LOVE quotes inside of his car, a lovely display of BLACK ON BLACK INTERIOR with a brushed silver lining on the dash, and all 4 doors.
I was taken with his style.
As Jeff unloaded his premium car products from his trunk and into my arms, he said,
“I had this car personalized because I mean it, “I love you guys. One Love.”
We spoke a little more (about 20 minutes more in the store parking lot), but each of us had to go, after all, this was just a chance meeting. As Jeff made his way to his driver’s seat, I said,
ME: Wait Jeff! I need to air hug you. I love your spirit.
JEFF: I’ll give you a real hug if you want,
It was then I noticed that Jeff had on NO MASK.
JEFF: Yeah, I love you guys and, you can’t catch what I have… you can’t catch cancer.
I lost my dad to Cancer in 2017 so without further adieu I went-in for the hug and squeezed Jeff like he was my long-lost child, and in that hug, I yielded a great amount of REIKI. I sent healing energy from my heart and my being through to Jeff’s torso. I squeezed him as if “for dear life.”
I am a praying Mother. I go hard-in-the-paint with realism when talking to God and He always responds.
Jeff and I cried in our physical embrace. I stood there as he got into his car with tears in his big blue eyes. I didn’t want to let him go, but I can’t keep a man that I do not know. I didn’t get his number because my heart was overwhelmed, and my throat was brimming with a pending wail. As Jeff reversed his angelic white BMW, I cried and made heart signs. I remained outside of the store for a minute or so with a couple of other patrons that witnessed the ‘whole love fest.’ It was surreal. Once Jeff had exited the shopping center and onto the road, he looked over at us all, honked his horn, and waved.
I boo-hoo’ed like a Mother that has just sent her kid off to college in Kairo. I felt a longing building up for my friend, whom I love and just met as he drove away in one of the fly’est art-detailed cars that I have seen in a long time.
Still overwhelmed with love from last week, yesterday’s Mother’s Day celebration was a day at the beach, and I never left the house. In fact, I was home alone, all day, but I felt like I had a million people with me. I felt loved, hugged, seen, and wanted… all beyond my children and family. The feeling was amazing and is still hanging out with me today.
Hello, beloved, I have missed you, too.
What good thing did you get into?
Did you eat your vegetables and drink less of the brew?
Are you operating within the good standard that your mother told you, to?
I hope that you are and that you are focused on this life.
I pray that you, too, connect with the hearts and minds of unite.
It’s a comforting feeling in the face of today’s plight.
Love and push love, be a mother. It’s alright.
While the world is race hating the Doc and Jeff are proof of otherwise,
A Real Mother For Ya,’ happy to show ya’ that love still resides.
Give it if you’ve got it and receive it in stride.